Oct 28, 2008

Mask

I'm an English major. I love reading, and I love writing. Something that I've been trying to do over the last couple of years is to try out new kinds of writing. In high school I wrote poems and pieces of prose, but I think that best way to learn about writing and to become better at it is to try out different types and learn about them. Well, I've been trying my hand at different types of writing, though I haven't been researching them as much as I should... oh well! So some of the things that I have started writing is a screenplay (which I feel so nerdy saying, but it's true), and lyrics. Eventually I would love to learn how to write songs and put the lyrics into them, but at the moment I'm just trying to perfect the words to sound good and mean what I want to. For your own personal judgement I'm including my most recent "song" entitled Mask. There are some lines that need work on, and the last verse I'm not too fond of, but here it is!

Mask

Verse 1
I wish you would see
that this girl you think you know
isn't the real me
I was putting on a show

I was playing a part,
wearing a mask,
hiding my heart.
But now I'm going to let it
go and ask

Chorus:
Could you love me like this?
Could you take me as I am
or is this all just hit and miss?
I'm tired of being a sham.
This is who I am,
could you love this?

Verse 2
I was hiding behind
the curtains, putting on a face
but I'm not that kind
I was feeling out of place

I'm stepping off the stage
coming to you
no more charade
Do you even have a clue
who I am now?

Chorus

Bridge
I'm not the flirt you thought I was
I'm not supergirl
I've got my flaws.
One thing I know is true
I'm fallin' for you!

Verse 3
I thought you would try
to see behind this disguise;
couldn't show you that I cry
at having to say goodbye

I'm taking off this dress
going to reveal
what's beneath this
I'm going to show you the real deal
and plead stay

Chorus

Could you love me?

So there it is! Let me know what you think, and leave some constructive criticism in the comments. Eventually I would love to be able to share my life through music, if I can learn how, and this is just the rough beginnings of that, so please be soft!

I love you all.

Oct 24, 2008

Movin' on Up!

So I have some freakin' exciting news to share! As most of you know, I work at the BYU Creamery on Ninth, and have been a cashier there for two years this January. Well, no longer! I have just been promoted to supervisor and I start my new responsibilities on Monday!

For those who don't know, I applied to become a supervisor in the Fall and didn't receive it then, but a really great guy did so as disappointing as it was, it was okay. And plus it was on a schedule that I wouldn't have preferred too much. So when my supervisor, Jacque, quit this week (even though it was really sad because I love that girl!) I decided to apply again. And this time I got it! The job entails new responsibilities and things to learn, but I'm really excited to be doing this!

I appreciate everyone that kept me in their prayers and hearts as I was preparing for the interview, it really did mean a lot to me. And if you would continue to do so as I try to learn the ropes of my new position, that would be awesome.

I love you all.

Oct 23, 2008

Life's Errata

In printing, the old kind before there were computers and word processing and all the letters were hand set, printers (the people, not the objects) used the term "erratum" (Plural: errata). This term means that there was a mistake in the book, magazine, or newspaper and instead of going through the entire process of having to print a whole new sheet out (with novels and journals there were several pages to one sheet), they would just insert a page at the front or back listing the "errata," the pages they were on and what they were supposed to be. Benjamin Franklin, being a printer himself, uses this term in regards to mistakes he made in his life. At the time he didn't realize that the "typo" had been made, but looking over it again, he sees it and therefore acknowledges it.

I would like to make a remark about the errata in life. I know that in my life there have been many that at the time seemed to be the right decision, word, or action. But looking back I've realized something; that is, that those things weren't as right as I may have thought. Some of these errata may have been caught early on, making it easier to fix, but others sat on the page for some time before I realized, and therefore I had to insert a confession. And I know that I'm not the only one with an erratum or two in my life; these are an unfortunate part of life that we all have to go through and we all know how painful it is to insert a confession if we didn't catch it soon enough.

It is because of these errata in our lives that we have the Master Printer. In this life right now, we are just the apprentices, trying to work our way up to journeyman and then to create our masterpieces; but as it is, we are being taught by the Master Printer. What the Master Printer does is simple. When we come to him with the offending pages and show him the erratum, he graciously puts his name on the correction; he takes the blame for it, though he had told us many times before to look over the plates before we printed them. It is when we try to hide our errata from our Master that we run into more trouble. While it is still possible to fix the mistakes, it becomes harder and more complicated as in the next edition, or issue, the corrections are put in. It extends the pain and shame that we feel.

Since I am guilty of a few errata in my life, I need to be forgiving of the errata of others. It is easily done; a "p" instead of a "b," or a backwards word, maybe even a couple of letters messed up. Rarely does the erratum completely ruin the whole page. And that apprentice has the same forgiving Master as I do.

I love the Atonement. I know that I have had to call on it several times as I have grown and changed. There were times in my life when I felt that I couldn't go a day with out offending someone. But through the regular process of growing up, and through my religion, and conversations I had with my family, I learned something. I might have made the errata, but it was others who decided to be offended by it. True, maybe some of the errata I shouldn't have made in the first place, and with some of them the only person I hurt was myself, but the Master was there when I admitted it, and he took the blame for me--though he had told me before to be careful. What a wonderful blessing for an imperfect life. I'm glad that I have this knowledge in my life; that I can make mistakes, and still be loved and be made whole again through repentance and a loving Father in Heaven.

My errata are not permanent. And neither are anyone else's!

I love you all.

Author's Note: So I realized while I was writing this that it kind of seems like a General Conference talk. Sorry about that. Maybe it's because I was in my religion class when I thought of it. But if I ever do have to talk in General Conference, at least I'll have a great analogy. (Well, I think it's great... let me know how you feel with your comments!)

Oct 21, 2008

Count Your Many Blessings

I decided to take this advice and "name them one by one." Not that I've been particularly depressed, but things do weigh me down every once in a while, and well "when upon life's billows!" So here are somethings that are blessings in my life:

My family! No matter what I know that they will always be there and they will always love me. When it seems like there is no one else in the world behind me, all I have to do is turn around and there they are. Love you all.

My health. Even though I might get little colds, or twenty-four hour mystery illnesses, I don't have any chronic diseases, and I'm not ending up in the hospital constantly. I don't need to watch what I do, eat, touch, or wear. I think that I got off pretty lucky in this respect.

School. Yes, one of the objects that cause stress is also a great blessing. In English we have been learning about women's rights in the Victorian age, and I am SO blessed to be living in this age where I can learn and expand my knowledge. I am free to pursue dreams and interests without anyone telling me that it's wrong. And being here at BYU has taught me more than just what I've learned in my classes.

Friends/Roommates. My roommates are some of my very best friends. What a blessing they have been for me this year! I have enjoyed my walks with Cecily who makes me laugh while comforting me. I love getting big hugs from Maria, and talking late into the night with her about nothing in particular. And Linda is a great example of righteousness. Then there are my other friends who I know are only a phone call or text away. The Lord may not have blessed me with a great many friends, but the few I have are great friends!

Other things that I am grateful for: living in a free country, music, literature, cameras (what would I do without my pictures to look through and remember with?), beautiful blue skies, the opportunity to work and be independent (for the most part), and, of course, the Church and the Scriptures! What comfort all these things bring to my life! I know that I have lived a blessed life and it is just proof that our Father knows what we each need and can handle. I've been so blessed. Seriously. ;) In times of trial, we just need to remember that along with the trial comes blessings and spiritual growth. Like I said before, God gives us the sugar for the lemons life hands us.

I love you all.

Oct 20, 2008

Victorian Short Fiction Project

So here is something REALLY cool! For my Victorian Literature class, we are doing this amazing research project. What we get to do is go into Special Collections, look through old journals and periodicals, pick a short story out of one of them, and then research that story to death! Yes!

BUT that's not the really cool part (though it is pretty darn cool). We're posting it on the web, which means that if someone is looking up Victorian short fiction, or a specific journal, or a story, or author, they can go there and see not only a short introduction on the journal, but also a transcription of a short story, and the original in pdf form! And this is also something that I can put on a resume to show my editing skills. So what really makes this research project cool is that it's something that will continue on, and not just be thrown away at the end of the semester. Plus, you all get to go see it! Just go to this website: http://vsfp.ctlbyu.org and have a look around! So far I have only posted the bibliography for the journal I'm working on, "Hood's Comic Annual," but hey, I posted something on the internet and I think that is a GREAT accomplishment!

Oct 9, 2008

Halloween

A lot of people have been asking me why I don't like Halloween. In fact, I'm not really a big fan of the whole month of October (excepting Dana and Dad's birthdays, of course) and it is because of Halloween. So what is it about Halloween that I don't like? True, dressing up can be fun, and there is very yummy candy that can only be gotten at this time of year. These are the arguments everyone has been putting to me to make me like Halloween.

I have been thinking about it; trying to put an exact reason to why I don't like Halloween. First of all, after you stop being able to trick-or-treat, it really isn't nearly as much fun. Dressing up in strange ways seems silly-- at this age I would much rather dress up in an elegant dress and be all made up and pretty. Another reason I don't like Halloween is that, even at this age, I don't like being scared. I don't like haunted houses, forests, corn mazes, and I don't like scary movies. And it seems that once you get past the trick-or-treat stage, you're supposed to be in this haunted stage. And that is all that happens in the month of October! Everyone going to hunted houses and watching scary movies. October is the one month of the year that I hope I don't get asked out, because I just know that it will be doing one of the previous and I honestly wouldn't like to do those.

So that's why I don't like Halloween. All I try to do it get past it and look forward to the following holidays that I enjoy a lot more.

Oct 6, 2008

Recipe for a Mood Picker-Upper

Ingredients:

1 Bad day
2 Songs (one uplifting, one sad)
3-5 Roommates
4 Cookies (any variety)

Take the bad day and add to it by listening to a sad song. After the bad day has been seeped in sadness for half a day, listen to Bon Jovi's "Welcome to Wherever You Are." Make sure the words are mixed into your brain thoroughly. After listening to this (or any other uplifting song), go home and add to the mix big hugs from your roommates. Make sure to stir up your mood with talk, and gossip. Add to the talk, 4 cookies.

Let sit overnight. In the morning, you will feel better!

Oct 4, 2008

Drama=My Life at School

There are times in this adventure of life that I wish my life was just the boring, old thing it used to be. Right now, all the drama that I never had in high school seems to be catching up to me. Not only has the new semester started, and I'm back to working until 8:30 at night, but I've been meeting new people, and having a lot of new experiences. Friendships, crushes, exams, class, work, all these things together combine to become a big ball of emotional drama. I can only hope that someday I will be able to look back on this drama as a comedy and laugh at myself.

For the time being, I am feeling very stupid. Like every time I open my mouth, duct tape should be slapped across it to keep me from saying something stupid. If only it were that easy. I know its a lot to ask for, but for once could I just be the suave, sophisticated girl that I make believe I am?

But along with all the drama, and stupid things, comes some sunshine and light. I have started my editing classes (Intro to Linguistics) and I am loving it! I have always thought of myself as a word person, and now I know that I must be! I love the way words are made, and how the sounds come together. Language, and speaking. It's all so amazing and a lot of fun to learn. I wasn't looking forward to that class to begin with, but it's now my favorite class, and always seems to end too soon. Three other rays of sunshine are my amazing roommates! Maria, Cecily and Linda. Maria is like me in a more outspoken, outgoing form. We have talks together, and seem to understand where each other is coming from. Cecily is the sweetest person I know. She loves me unconditionally, despite faults I might have, and she is a strength in my life. Linda prompts me to be better.

When life hands you lemons, God gives you the sugar for lemonade. My drama is for a little time only, but the things I learn from it are going to help me for the rest of my life.