30 Before 30: Apply to Grad School Again

Several years ago, I applied to grad school and was brokenhearted when I didn't get in. Now, I work at a university, so I get a good chunk of my tuition paid for by work, which I have to admit is a huge incentive to me getting my master's through there.

I just finished filling out my application and I will be starting May or June on my Master's of Education degree in Instructional Design.

It's a little scary, but I'm pretty excited to finally be able to say I have a master's degree (well, that I'm working toward one).

2013 Year in Review and a Look into 2014

Here we are, at the end of another year! Here are a few highlights from 2013!

I started a new feature on my blog, called Book of the Month. On the first of every month, I recommend a book that I had read the previous month. It's a little hit or miss, but that's the way reading goes sometimes, isn't it?

A friend and I started a "letter game" for writing. We have now started our second story.

I turned 25!

In June I went to Prince Edward Island, fulfilling one of my New Year's resolutions, and a dream of mine!

Sis and bro-in-law made me an aunt with the arrival of Baby E in July. Bro and I then went and visited them in August.

In October I decided to apply to graduate school. Well, it didn't start out that way. I first just decided to take the GRE, to have that avenue open for me, and then quickly decided to apply to grad school while I was looking around at programs. This meant that the last couple months of the year were spent studying for the GRE and filling out my application. My application is in (except for one letter of recommendation) and I am going to try to forget about it until I hear word.

In addition, this year I've learned a lot about being strong and healthy, as well as the people in my life who love and support me no matter what.

As for my other New Year's Resolutions. I did write often, until about July when I started having to look for new jobs, and then I started studying for the GRE. I'm getting back into it though, and will hopefully have more time to write as 2014 begins. As for the "exercising with some frequency"--I did okay for about the first three months, then I stopped. Then in September I started up again, and I exercise about 20 minutes a day three or so times a week using a work-out app called Sworkit. Not ideal, I know, but it's better than nothing.

Now, to try to see the future and look forward to 2014 . . .

I now have until June to find a new job. Starting in January, I'll go down to working three days a week, so I'll spend the other two days a week "working from home". I'm planning on writing in the morning, and doing some job searches in the afternoon. I did apply for two jobs this month, but have yet to hear back from them.

There is also my grad school acceptance/rejection to get--sometime around March I think. If I get into grad school, then I will not be taking a vacation this year because money. If I don't, I still may not be taking a vacation this year. It all depends on whether or not I get a job. If I am able to go on a vacation, I have no idea where I want to go. I have kicked around the idea of New York and seeing Broadway plays, but I don't think I'd want to go by myself. It can't be anywhere too expensive, since I don't have as much vacation money this year as I did last year. Suggestions? Probably somewhere in the US.

Well, there we are! The year didn't turn out how I thought it would, but then, nothing ever does. I look forward to whatever new adventures 2014 brings!

The GRE

As you all know, I spent November studying for the GRE. I did take a break or two for social activities, including the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary! For a geek like me, it was Christmas a month early. But a lot of my time not at work was taken up by studying, learning new things, taking practice tests, then going over the practice tests (which usually included another person for the math). It was a busy month, with not enough reading time. Something I learned, though, is that I'm feeling pretty serious about grad school--if I weren't, I would have given up part way through the month.

Tuesday morning I took the test. It was a really rough morning. Have you ever been walking along, fine as can be, and then you just run into a wall unexpectedly? And you can't see anyway around, over, under, or through that wall? And besides that, you don't feel very good because you just smacked into a wall? Well, that's kind of how I felt the morning of the GRE. 

I had felt fine the day before, and slept well that night. But I hit the wall as I was getting ready to go. Roommate M was driving me since the test was taking place at the university she attends, and she was heaven sent. She talked me into getting out of the car (with some help from a phone call to my mom) and taking the test. And, boy, am I glad she did!

The whole test taking experience is kind of surreal--I know I did it, but I don't really feel as if I did. M walked me to the testing center--which was good because I never would have found it on my own--and figuratively held my hand through the sign in process. Then I signed in and had to read and sign a confidentiality agreement, where I had to copy a paragraph into cursive. I haven't written that much in cursive since I was in elementary school! And they don't even teach cursive anymore, so that's going to have to change soon. Anyway, I went in, they signed me in on the computer and took my picture, which was lovely (/sarcasm). I had to take my watch off, even though it isn't digital, and then I had to stand while they waved a metal detector wand over me. They also asked to see my wrists, which reminded me of Mulan, when she goes to the matchmakers and she has notes written on her arm. 

Then I went in and got started!

Two hours later I had a quick break and about an hour and a half after that I finished. You get your scores immediately, and I was surprised that I hadn't done that bad--considering the wall that morning. I did slightly better than I had on my practice tests (I always ended up with the same scores on allof my practice tests), and my verbal was above average and my math just below. I finished early (I've always been a fast test taker, which is good and bad), and M wasn't back yet to get me, so I just sat and watch the snow fall. I was exhausted! In fact, it took about two days for me to recover, which is why I'm writing about it now instead of yesterday. 

I went to work for about five hours, which made me even more exhausted. So I recovered by lying on the couch and watching Holiday Inn that night. Nothing like some Astaire and Crosby to help a person feel better. :)

I just want to give a shout out to everyone who was so supportive the past month and who sent prayers my way on Tuesday--I needed it more than I knew when I asked for it. 

Letters of Intent

I'm applying for grad school right now. It's a little stressful, but exciting at the same time. I'm hoping that in the next couple of months everything comes together, I do well on the GRE, and I have everything turned in by the deadline. The thing I'm not looking forward to writing is my letter of intent. I'm just not good talking about myself in a professional way (I really have no idea what that says about me . . .), so I thought I would write what I wish I could say here on my blog to maybe get it out of my system, and then I can write a professional letter to send to the University.

Dear Admissions Board,
Yo, I like to write, let me into your program.

Okay, okay, that's probably not the best way to phrase it, even for this kind of thing.

Dear Admissions Board, 

I love stories. I love stories told in the form of art, music, movies, theatre, and dance, but mostly, I love stories told by the written word.  

From a very young age, I started creating stories in my head. At first I used books and stories that I already knew, and I would insert myself into them as a character. As I got older, I started writing things down: character bios, lineage, even a few sentences. I started creating my own little stories, spending Sunday afternoons writing them down in notebooks, on the computer, or on loose pages of notebook paper. Some of these stories I submitted to my elementary school's "Reflections" contests, and then later to my high school's literary magazine, Tabula Rasa, where I was also the prose editor my senior year. 

Sometimes I would forget how good writing would make me feel, until I would stay up late at night writing down my ideas, or pieces of stories. Once I got to university, I became an English major because I wanted to learn about more stories. And I did! Diverse stories that I never thought of reading before. I started deciding for myself what I liked about different types of story telling, and I branched out in how I read. Even when my schoolwork became overwhelming, I always made time for personal reading, because, like Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird, "until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing." Stories are like breathing to me--an essential part of my life that I take for granted until they are not there anymore. 

While at university, I took two creative writing classes. The way these classes made me think about creating stories and characters, it was an eye-opening experience for me. And being able to get honest feedback, not just from a professor, but from my peers, that was something I had never experienced before. In my "Writing for Children and Adolescents" class, I heard from published authors who had written the kind of books I would like to write, to the audience I want to reach. I learned by trial and error, so different from the lecture and test routine I was used to. It was inspiring and challenging. It was hard.  

This is why I want to be accepted to your program. I want to learn even more how to tell the stories that are in my head, and to be able to grow stronger and more confident in my writing. In the three years I have been away from school, I have felt the lack of the learning environment in my life. I had been searching for knowledge through other means, which is satisfying in itself, but I have felt the desire to be back among my peers, sharing the learning experience with them. In my work as an editorial intern, and a part time worker, I have learned about telling different kinds of stories, and how to make them better. As I aspire to become an editor, I think it is important to know how writing works, to experience the kind of criticism that someday I may be giving. The most exciting thing about your program is that you encourage your MFA students to write the things they want to be writing. I want to make my career in young adult fiction, and learning to write it will help me in my career goals. 

Thank you for your consideration of me to the Creative Writing MFA. I hope that you can understand my passion for stories, and that I plan to bring that passion with me to your university.  

Sincerely, 

Whitney

That's better than the first, but still not what I think the admissions board is looking for. Guess I'll keep trying until I get it down pat.

Dreamland and Other News

These past two weeks I have been having some weird dreams. Have you ever had a series of dreams that are all related to each other? That even take place in the same "dreamland"? The majority of my dreams always did seem to take place in the same world my brain created, but not it has shifted to something much worse.

School.

Yes, I have been having school dreams. The school is a strange amalgam (sidebar: I love that word and try to use it whenever I can) of my high school and BYU. And for some reason I am taking art and math classes. But I can never find my classes, and I've forgotten my schedule, don't know my locker number or combination, and then there are all these people from high school or TV shows/movies I watch. Basically, they aren't the most comfortable of dreams.

Anyway, in other news.

I've decided to take the GRE. I'm looking into grad schools, but I haven't really decided if that's what I should do, but since the GRE lasts for a few years, I decided I should take it, and maybe even apply to a program or two and see what happens.

This has been about 6 months in coming. I received news that I would need to find a new job by the end of the year, which was heartbreaking but at the same time I knew that it is best for me. I'd been feeling for a while that I should start looking for a new job, but something would happen, and I would just brush the feeling away. But, here's the thing, Heavenly Father doesn't give up. In a way, I feel that everything that led up to me having to be let go (which no one really wanted that, but things happen and departments need to downsize) was really just God being like "Okay, Whitney, you wouldn't listen to me before, so now I'm forcing you into it. It's really for your own good." There was definitely some comfort in that, until I started looking for a job.

At first it seemed that I had a lot of options. I even applied for a great, entry-level position. But I kept getting turned down because other applicants had more experience and higher education. Which kind of got me started thinking about going back to school. And now I'm only coming across part-time jobs, even though I've broadened my search terms. The only thing I know is that I want to work with books, in some way or another; they are my passion.

This past week or two I've been thinking more and more about getting my MFA. Maybe it's because of these school dreams I've been having, or maybe because Roommate M has decided to go to grad school, but whatever it is, it's a different path I'm looking down. I feel as though the paths are dark and winding, and I have no idea of which I should go down or where they will lead. But maybe opening myself up to going down different paths, one will become more clear.

Growing up I never thought I would get my master's. That was back in the days when I thought I would be married at 21 and be having kids. My senior year of college, that thought changed. I found out about a creative writing MFA, and I became really interested in doing that. But even then I thought that I would do it once I had a job (hopefully one that would help pay for it), or maybe even years down the road. To be thinking about it at this stage in life is not what I was expecting, even though I know I should stop expecting things to happen when I think they should.

The good news is that my work has decided to keep me on (with reduced hours) until next June, or I find a job. I'm so grateful for them to be willing to help me and give me a lot of time to find something. They have even been working with me to sharpen my skills by giving me different tasks, and telling me about any job opportunities they know of. General Minion, my mentor, has even offered to help me on the GRE, and listens to me when I get down because I can't find a job. She was the one who proposed keeping me on for another 6 months, and she has sent me job listings I qualify for. It's been stressful, and it's been hard, and sometimes it makes me wonder about my talents and whether or not I have what it takes, but there are so many people in my life who are there to support me and to give me encouragement. Everyone goes through this at least once, right? It's just my turn and I know things will be better for it--if only I knew when!

Banned Book Week 2012

Well, it's the last day of September which must mean it's Banned Books Week!! This year marks the thirtieth year since the ALA created banned books week as a means to fight against censorship. Down with censorship!! (haha, I feel like saying that is a weird meta of censoring censorship . . .) Really, the ALA calls it "the Freedom to Read," which is actually a great way of putting it.

Last year I wrote a blog post about how I feel about societal censorship. I say that I personally choose which books I feel comfortable reading or not, and I always feel that that is a personal decision. For example, as I was trying to find a book to read this week, I researched a certain book that is considered quite a classic. After reading about why it was banned, as well as several synopses, I decided that it wasn't the sort of book I wanted to be reading. But I wouldn't stop others from reading it.

Which brings me to what I have decided to read this week. I wanted to read a book that was relatively new to the "challenging/banning" game. I know of two this last year. The first was A Study in Scarlet, the first Sherlock Holmes mystery by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This was banned from the school on the grounds of the negative picture it paints of Mormons. I read this book before the school in Virginia banned it, and, as a Mormon, I found it hilarious in all it's inaccuracies. As, as someone who has studied literature, I knew how Victorians felt about Mormons and was able to use that as a point of reference. I appreciate that someone realized that this was not a good introduction to the religion, but I also feel that it would have been the perfect opportunity to discuss what is a major American religion (and part of the history of this country) in a positive, historical way. In no way did they have to preach the gospel, but talk about historical inaccuracies, and why Conan Doyle would have portrayed Mormons the way he did. That's the amazing thing about literature--it opens up a conversation! How said that the parents and teachers didn't take that opening.

The second book that was challenged in the past year was Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game. This actually ended in the suspension of the teacher. This is the book that I will be reading this week. The book was challenged on pornography issues, but no one I know that has read it says there is any such thing. And these are people I trust. Nor does the little I know about the book lend itself to pornography. So I went out (last month before my "no spend month" started) and bought the book.

There are links in last year's post to lists of banned books, or you can go to the ALA website for more information. Please read a banned book and fight for the freedom to read!

The Great Closet Clean-out 2012

My mom used to have this rule that when we got new clothes we had to get rid of the same amount of old clothes. As I recall, this rule didn't last into high school. Well, about a month ago I was thinking about my closets and what I have in them. Here they are:

And I was thinking about two things. First, that there are a lot of clothes in my closet that I never wear. Second, I was thinking about how in my apartment when I was in school, we had three closets in our bedrooms half the size of one of those in the picture above. With two people to a room, that meant we both got a closet and a half. And there were six drawers, three for each of us. And upon thinking about those two things, the thought came to my mind that it was definitely time to clean out my closet. (Hopefully, I'll eventually clean out my dresser too.) 

I had originally planned to do this last month after my shopping trip with Melissa. But a decision was made that would make a big change in my life, so I decided to wait until this month to do it. And yesterday was the day. I emptied all my clothes from my closet:

 put on Kyle XY on hulu, and got to it. As you can see in the picture above, my clothes are in piles of "types": camis/undershirts, nice shirts, grungy/pj shirts, slacks/skirts/dresses, and outerwear. This is how my closet in organized.

The first thing I did was go through every pile and decide one of three things about each item: keep, get rid of, not sure. I had two sacks for the get rid of decision, depending on whether or not the item was in good condition or not:

After I had made those decisions I went through my "not sure" piles. I tried on every item, and decided whether or not I still liked it, if it fit, or if it was in good enough condition to keep. Those that I decided to throw away, I then wondered if there was anything I could salvage from them. For example, these shirts:

I bought these shirts in high school, so about six years ago. I loved them and took good care of them (hand washing, which is a bummer). But in six years, things get worn. These shirts in particular were stretched out of shape and thinner than they had been before, which was pretty thin. The lace was still in good condition, being heartier stuff than the thin cotton of the rest of the shirt, so I set the shirts aside to pick the lace off of later. You never know when you might want some pretty lace! I also took buttons off shirt that was too worn to be given to DI.

After I went through the "not sure piles," I went through the "keep" piles and made sure that everything still fit, was modest, and was still in conjunction with my personal style. I gave away a few more things from those (one dress sadly because it had accidentally been put in the dryer and shrunk about 1 1/2 inches. 1 1/2 inches that couldn't afford to be shrunk.), then hung everything up in my closets.

Here are the hangers of everything I got rid of:

I even organized my closet by sleeve length and color (It won't last long, but hey, it's like that now!):

I do have a bit more room in my closets now, though I still use both of them. And I probably could get rid of more clothes, but I'm going to wait a little bit and then maybe revisit and get rid of some more. After seeing what I threw away, I was overcome with this urge to go shopping again because I felt like I have no clothes (which isn't true, but I think it was that I saw how little "work" clothes I have. Most of the clothes I do have I don't wear often since I wear a dress/skirt 6 days a week.). I'm trying to hold off on it (because of $$ and the fact that I might not have a job in 2 months), but with the new City Creek center just across the street from where I work, it's going to be hard!

Christmas "Letter" 4.0

Dear Family, Friends, and Random Strangers in the Great Abyss of the Interwebs,

Well, another year has passed by! I think the theme this year has been change, and constancy. Which, I know, are two completely different things. But we'll get to that later.

First, I want to mention something that has been on my mind a lot the past few days. This is my first year, in five years, that I have not had to go through finals to get to Christmas. As all of my friends have been stressing and counting down on Facebook, I have been hit with this strange sense of nostalgia. Not that I want to have to take three-hour tests, and study my butt off in between, but there is something about having to take finals to get to Christmas which made Christmas Christmas, ya know? I don't quite feel like it's Christmas as I just go back to work everyday same as any other month. I think it was the semester ending, and finals starting that just let me know Christmas was right around the corner. I also miss ABCFamily's 25 Days 'Til Christmas. I love cheesy made for TV movies, as well as the Harry Potter marathon, and old Christmas favorites.

Now to this past year. It has almost been a year since I graduated from BYU and moved into my parents' basement (I know, such a stereotypical thing to do). I started off the year with a big change in my life--my first internship! This meant working 40 hours a week, in an office building, with my own office. Working at the New Era was such an amazing experience. And now that my articles have started being published, it is like the gift that keeps on giving! After four months there, another change came in my life. After three weeks of waiting, I was offered an internship at Deseret Book! While I only worked part time here, I had a great time. I was reading books, and editing, and learning, and source checking. After 16 weeks that affirmed to me that editing was really what I want to do with my life, I left there and started at my third internship at the Joseph Smith Papers Project.

I'm back to working full time, and really loving it. I like the people I work with and the things I get to do (though they do get tedious sometimes, but what job doesn't?). The great thing about all these experiences is that they built upon each other--each one prepared me for the next. When I took the editing test at Deseret Book, I just got this peaceful feeling that God knows what I need and if I trust in Him, everything will work out. And it has! It is so amazing!

Another wonderful change this year was that my brother got home from his mission in the Dominican Republic! It's so good to have our family all in one country again!

I also took an acting class! That was very interesting, and good for me to do--got me out of my little shell for a little bit.

So, those are all the changes that have occurred in my life this year, so what about the constancy? Well, though I have changed jobs every four months, I have remained in my parents' basement. That's a constant, as is their love and concern for me. God has remained constant, though I have changed (for the better) in regards to Him. Though I am serving in a different capacity at church, the gospel has forever remained constant, and will ever remain constant. It may not seem like much constancy, but these are the things that are really important.

Also, I'm still single. That has been very constant these past few years!

What am I looking forward to this coming year? I'll continue at JSPP until April-ish, and after that . . . who knows? Hopefully I'll get a "real" job, move out of my parents' house, and start another new chapter in my life. It'll be an adventure, I'll tell you that!

Happy Christmas!

Whitney

It's the Little Things

Today was a great day! And you know what made it so fantastic? The small things that happened today.

Small Thing #1: Getting European Chocolate

A coworker spent the last week in Rome (was I jealous? Oh, just a lot.) and just came back to work today. Besides being able to hear about wonderful Rome, she brought a Kinder Bueno bar for me and the rest of us! I LOVE Bueno bars!

Small Thing #2: Talking to Cute Little Kids

As I walked off the elevator on my way out the door to go home this afternoon, I saw two little red-headed boys (they looked like twins) standing on the other side of the security gates. As I beeped myself through, I saw them shaking their hands in the air. "We've got magic in our hands," one of them says to me. "Do you?" I reply. "What are you doing with the magic?" One little boy touches the metal of the security gates, "When we touch this, it opens!" The security guard had been playing with them by opening the gates when they touched them! They were so adorable, I just had to smile!

Small Thing #3: Reading the Same Book as Someone Else

While I wait for my second train to come (I have to transfer), I usually sit on a planter, reading and swinging my legs like a little girl. It's the start of me being able to block out the rest of the world and relax from the work day a little bit. I had pulled my hood over my head, my scarf over my nose, and sat hunched up against the cold and curled toward my book. I don't usually pay attention to others around me, just the trains as they go by so I don't miss mine. Today, a woman came up next to me and got a book out of her bag. Then, she leans forward and says, "I thought so! We're reading the same book!" I look up and she shows me her cover. Sure enough, it read The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley. "That doesn't happen often, does it? And it's an older book; my favorite!" Though I didn't say anything, just smiled, and we went back to reading our books, it was kind of like we had this little thing that connected us. It's nice to feel connected to other people. Sometimes.

Small Thing #4: Seeing Your Name in a Multinational Magazine

When I got home to an empty house (everyone else was at the temple), I walked in to find a big white envelope with my name on it from the LDS Church Magazines. Confused, I turn it over, run my finger under the flap and open it up. Inside was a magazine. I thought maybe it was the New Era, because of the three articles I had it in this month. But when I pulled it out, to my surprise it was the Liahona, the Church's multinational magazine. Still confused, but on my way to being excited, I opened up to the contents pages and look frantically for my name. And there it was: Whitney Hinckley!! Two of my articles had made it into the magazine! A magazine that is translated into tons of different languages and shipped all over the world! Full of excitement, I started hopping up and down and saying "Oh! Oh! Oh!" and turning around, looking for someone to share it with! But no one was home, so I raced downstairs, posted it on Facebook and then proceeded to put my energy to good use by have an impromptu dance party while making dinner. This dance party included songs like "Something That I Want" from Tangled, "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid, "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstell, "Down" by Jay Sean, "Get Back" by Demi Lovato, "What Dreams are Made of" from The Lizzie Maguire Movie, and, when I needed some cooling down, "Holiday" by the Kinks. I let my hair down (literally, I took my hair out of the braid I had it in), and may or may not have down some hand banging, jumping up and down, and singing as loud as I can (there was no one else home, remember?). I went crazier than I have in a while and it felt good.

I am so grateful for the little things that make life so great!

Life After College

After 17 years of school, you are just about ready to call it all quits. Good thing it's your last semester of college. Instead of writing that 10 page research paper, you daydream about how good life is going to be once you graduate. No more teachers. No more text books. And best of all, no more tests. Oh yeah, life is gonna be good.

Reality Check!

I have been graduated for four months and this is what I have learned. School doesn't end! The world becomes your classroom, except you don't know who your teacher is, there is no syllabus, and every test is a surprise. Of course, there are no grades, but if you mess up it could mean your career.

You don't realize how easy school really is. True! You live in low rent housing, you go to class, you have a job that gives you enough money for what you need, you don't need a car, you aren't paying for insurance, you don't have to worry about what you are going to be doing in four months. You get to be around people your own age, and do fun and crazy things with them. It's so nice to be in that kind of environment.

Then you graduate. Maybe you move to a new city, maybe you move home to live in your parents' basement. Maybe you have a job, maybe an internship, or maybe you have to start out pounding pavements. Your future is hazy, and you can't see past the next bend in the road. And you're wishing you were back in school . . .

Being a college grad isn't all bad. You finally realize how stupid grades are. You have freedom to do what you want in the evenings when you get home from work. No homework! You no longer have that guilty feeling that comes when you are out having fun and the 100 pages of reading you haven't done yet crosses your mind. You can read whatever you want, at whatever pace is takes--you finally enjoy reading the classics. You can gloat over all your college friends as they complain about finals. You finally feel as if your life can move forward now, instead of just remaining stagnant.

Yes, life after college can be scary, and hard. But it can be fun too. I like knowing that I made it through college and now have a BA. Sometimes I think about college and wish that I were still there, but it doesn't last long.

The past is in the past, and the future is before me.

An Electronic Christmas Card

To read the last two years' Christmas letters, click here and here.

Hello family and friends! Merry Christmas! Here is my year-end update.

I started this year as I do most years, by waking up on January 1. I went back to school and enjoyed having my own room for most of Winter semester. I had two amazing roommates who both got engaged then. During that semester I was able to take a Writing for Children and Adolescents class that I really enjoyed. Not only did it spark my love of writing, but it also led me to being a part of a writer's group and to finding a MFA program that I would like to do someday. I have already written over 200 pages in my novel and will be finishing it in the next 100 or so. :)

In that same line, I just had two articles bought from the New Era! If being a professional means that you get paid for your services, I guess that means I'm now a professional writer! I hope that they actually get published.

After that semester ended I decided to celebrate by taking another class during Spring! I just worked and read and studied, all the while getting excited for my trip to California in June which I took with my roommate two weeks before she got married. What a great bachelorette party, huh? Aren't I a great friend? We were able to visit the sis and bro-in-law in Monterey as well as enjoying being outside of Utah (but mostly just Provo) for 5 days. I enjoyed not having to go to work.

The rest of the summer was me working three days a week, with every Friday being a 14 hour day. That was an adventure. I also walked in Commencement and Convocation at the end of the semester! Even though I knew it wasn't "for real" it was a great feeling to get my diploma (cover) and have my family and friend there to support me. The only problem with that was that I had to go back to school for four more months!

I only took two classes this last semester, the last two I needed for my minor and for real graduation. One I wasn't look forward to was my design class, but despite some minor pitfalls I really enjoyed learning about InDesign and creating some really cool things. I finished the semester strong, I believe.

I had spent about a month training my replacement as Front-end Manager at work, but when my last day or work came I was sad to leave. In fact, I was sad to leave BYU and Provo in general. Mostly I think it is because it is comfortable, and known. In January I start off on an unknown. I got an internship with the New Era at LDS Church Magazines in Salt Lake! It is a wonderful opportunity, one that I am very grateful for, but it is also scary and "nervousing." I hope I do a good job!

That was just a quick review of my year. Merry Christmas to you all! Love you!

. . .

Wow . . .

I'm done.

As of today I'm a college graduate. I have been walking around with a look like that above on my face all week, when I wasn't crying from all the emotions going through me.

"Every new beginning is some other beginning's end . . . "

Sunday Special: Be True

As an English major I have read a lot of the classics. It is always amazing to read something that is enlightening and helps you understand a part of life that was previously cloudy before. The example that I want to talk about is from my favorite Shakespeare play, Hamlet.

There is a character in Hamlet called Polonius. This otherwise ridiculous character gives his son Laertes a good piece of advice as Laertes prepares to go off to University in Paris. His speech starts off as a regular and mundane speech, telling Laertes not to party too much, sleep with too many girls, start fights, or be flashy, that kind of thing. But he ends with a rather profound piece of advice considering how stupid Polonius usually is:

This above all: To thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man. (I.iii.78-80)

"To thine own self be true." I wish that I had taken this piece of advice to heart many times throughout my life. There were so many times in my life that I was trying so hard to be what someone else wanted me to be that I lost sight of who I really was. Not only was I being false to everyone else, but I was making myself unhappy.

I think that many fathers want this for their children. Thinking about the scriptures I can think of many times when, essentially, fathers gave their sons this piece of advice. Alma the Elder, Mormon, Lehi; I'm sure Daniel's father told him that, as did David's. They produced strong men in the faith. And then think about the father of all fathers--our Heavenly Father. I like to think that he took each of us aside before he sent us to earth and gave us a speech. Among the things he might have told us, I think one of them was "To thine own self be true." Remember who you are and you, and everyone around you, will see your worth. Unfortunately, we have forgotten about this talk with our father; the veil has obscured it from us. But that is why he has sent prophets, and earthly fathers. To remind us to be true to our selves.

I think I might have rambled a bit, but this is such a profound piece of advice from such a shallow character. In my years in college, I have seen how books can give me a better understanding of the Gospel, which I am grateful for. I am also grateful for parents who have given me pieces of advice, and help through my life. I am also grateful that I have met people who are willing to let me be true to myself. Thank you to everyone who has done this.

Love you all.

Week of Giving Thanks, pt. 4: Work

There is a line in one of my favorite movies that goes: "I'm blessed with work."

Okay, most of the time I don't feel this way at all. I don't enjoy having to get up and go into work, and dealing with customers and problems. As I'm walking through campus my mind is back in my warm, cozy bed (or on the music I'm listening to; or both). But when I get to work and I start doing what I need to do, it's not so bad.

There are times when I have actually liked the fact that I've had to go into work. Work is distracting. Most of the time you have to apply your mind to it and not think about anything else. There are good people to talk to that I work with, and always something to do (whether or not I always do those things are a different matter . . . ;) ).

Work is a blessing. Being able to work and support myself is a tremendous blessing. This is a hard time to try to find work and I am glad that I have a job. I don't want to make a career out of working at a grocery store, but it has put me through college and taught me a lot about leadership and attacking problems that you see. My job has given me some amazing opportunities as I have worked my way up to student manager.

I will lose my job in about three weeks when I graduate. That is a hard thing to deal with. For months my mind has been filled with worries and questions about what I was going to do, how would I find work, where I would find work. Fortunately, I have been blessed with work in the form of an internship. It will only last four months, but will hopefully give me the experience and confidence I will need to get a job that I like. I'm excited to be a professional and gain the independence that my little student job couldn't offer me.

So, yeah, I'm glad that I have the ability, health, and chance to work.

Good Can Come from Bad

This week did not start out well.

I came off the weekend nursing a cold. On Monday my cold was almost better, but still there and I had developed a cough. Work was fine, but my class was so . . . can I say boring? Okay, boring. FHE was okay, we made pizza and watched Muppets Treasure Island. Overall, Monday wasn't too bad.

Tuesday was when I started getting down. My afternoon was spent working on a project, spending several hours on a computer doing what I find tedious design work. There is something about sitting in front of a computer for three hours that makes me feel irritated, bothered, and restless. Usually that feeling will go away in an hour or two after I finish, but on Tuesday I had to close at work and my bad mood just followed me. I was short with people and was glad when it ended.

The bad thing about working in the morning is that when you close the night before, you don't really have a break between being and work and going back to work--except sleep, which isn't really a break. So, my bad mood didn't truly go away. I did talk to my cashiers and was pleasant. Class was a work period, so at least I did something, but working with a group on a computer project is difficult and irritating, so I went home not feeling much better.

Once I got home, I immediately changed into my pajamas. This was because of two reasons: 1) It was laundry day and I wanted to wash the pants I was wearing, 2) pajamas are comforting. So I did my laundry, watched Glee and Raising Hope, and relaxed. I made dinner: yummy, warm, creamy hamburger stroganoff. Comfort food. I was feeling slightly better, but still sad and not very happy. Then there was a knock on the door.

It was one of my very best friends! She came by to sing with me because I had just gotten The Scarlet Pimpernel sheet music. I love that girl; the moment I saw her my mood was instantly lighter and as we sang beautiful music together I was genuinely happy. Who would have thought that one person could clear the cloud that had been three days above my head?

This morning something else made me happy. I received a call from the Church Office Building. I got some good news from them! It isn't official, so I'm not going to say anything else right now.

Anyway, sometimes good can come from bad.

PS A very happy birthday to my wonderful Mommy! Love you!

Weekend Update

For those of you familiar with SNL, this is kind of like the Weekend Update with Seth Meyers, just not as funny.

Monday:

Went to work, nothing exciting there.

Went to class, nothing exciting there.

Went to the Mac Lab to work on my big project, again. My phone buzzed, telling me that I had two voicemails. Once I listened to them, my whole day was turned around! I had been chosen for an interview for the internship at the Church Magazines! Wow. I'm a little nervous, but pretty excited because I didn't think I would even get to the interview stage.

That night for FHE we tie-dyed t-shirts! That was the first time I'd ever done that. Very fun.

Tuesday:

Had a work meeting, nothing exciting there.

Had class, nothing exciting there.

Had the longest closing shift at work, nothing exciting there.

Wednesday:

Had work, nothing . . . well, you know.

Had class. We had critiques on our designs and my TA liked mine! Maybe I'll get a better score on this project than my last . . . especially with the amount of work I've had to put in.

Made Chicken Noodle Soup for dinner. Mmmmmm.

Won $5200 playing Jeopardy! that night. (Yes, sometimes I keep score)

Stayed up late reading Birth Marked. It was good, you should read it.

Thursday:

Did homework.

Worked on my design project while listening to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Went to class.

Wrote in my novel.

Friday:

Went to work.

Thought I was going to have to go work on my project, but my TA sent out an e-mail pushing back the printing date by a week. Yay!

Took a nap.

Watched How to Train Your Dragon.

Wrote in my novel.

Went to bed.

That night I had the creepiest dream that I was living with a homicidal maniac who was trying to kill me and my roommates.

That's it. Nothing too exciting. :)

Memories

So I was looking through my highschool yearbooks today and I realized something: it's kind of amazing how looking at highschool yearbooks can make you feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see that people you are still friends with, sad to see the people you've lost.

How bad is it that out of all the people I went to school with for 3 (or 6 or 12) years, I can't even remember half of them that signed my yearbook?

The past is past and I guess I can't dwell on the what-ifs and missed opportunities. Just got to keep going through this life one day at a time.

. . . In Your Dreams!

Last night I had a dream about going back to London. I was going on another study abroad there and I was so excited to spend the next four months and my last semester in my favorite city!'

By the time I got there, I started having doubts which were crowding out the excitement I felt on the plane (sidenote: planes are always much cooler in my dreams), and seeing a bunch of people that I went to London with before also going to London (because, you know, why wouldn't they be there? A girl I knew in high school was also there--that part was weird.). I started thinking about the fact that I hadn't moved out of my apartment, and therefore would still be paying rent. And then I started worrying about when I would be able to move out of my apartment.

Then I started thinking about the classes I was enrolled in at BYU and how I would complete those. Because I need to complete them to graduate this semester, but how was I going to learn InDesign and Photoshop without anyone showing me about it.

And it didn't help that the London Centre was in a part of town that looked suspiciously like Herriman.

But I wasn't going to let that bother me, because I was in London!

And then these evil skeletal guys showed up and it was all downhill from there.

The Day Nothing Happened in Rye

Today is the Day Nothing Happened in Rye! This is the plaque that tells us that nothing happened in Rye on September 5, hence the reason we celebrate.

The rest of my first week back at school went pretty well. I decided to drop a credit that I was taking because it didn't seem like it was actually going to do what I thought it would, so I'm just taking two classes. I am surprisingly enjoying my computer class, and am a little worried about my editing class, but I have made it through four years of college already so I know that I'm going to be able to make it through this one.

On Wednesday at work the fryer blew up. We think there might have been some water or something in there, but it made the morning pretty exciting!

I don't have class on Friday (which is awesome! Why haven't I ever done this before?), but I did have a party to get ready for, so after work I went on the bus to the dollar store. I had ordered some martini glasses to be sent to the Dollar Tree, but I wasn't expecting the box to be so big! I had planned on going to pick them up and then go to the grocery store and then home. Well, with this big box full of breakable glasses, I knew that wasn't going to happen. As I was walking from the bus stop back to my complex, all hot and sweaty and tired, I was just thinking how much I wish I knew someone with a car that I could ask to take me to the store. I was not looking forward to having to carry heavy bags of groceries to the bus stop and back. As I was walking past the far stairs, a wonderful priesthood holder in my ward was coming down the stairs. He talked to me a bit and it came out that I needed a ride to the store. Even though he was on his way to run some errands himself, he very graciously told me he could take me. What a great guy!

I watched Camp Rock 2 that night, which I have been looking forward to all summer (I know, I'm such a child). It was much better than the first one, a lot more seamless and natural.

Saturday I had to get ready for my Day Nothing Happened in Rye party! I had made the mini cheesecakes the night before, but I needed to clean the apartment and the glasses and platters I had bought the day before. Being the efficient person I am, I got it all done with enough time to read some of my book and get ready for my writer's group. After writer's group I made the cucumber sandwiches for the party and then I just had to wait a little bit. I got all dressed up and set out the food.

I was so excited!

Well, 8 o'clock came around. And it was 2 of my roommates and me. So we started drinking our "martinis" and eating the cucumber sandwiches. By 9:15 we decided that we were going to go over to the Cannon center where our lovely ex-roomie was still working. We walked across Helaman halls in our dresses and heels, carrying our drinks and some of the snacks for her. Felt so silly and strange, but it was such fun!

We convinced her to come back with us while she waited for her husband to finish his work on campus.

And today is the real Day Nothing Happened in Rye. So, have a good one everyone.

Alpha of the Omega

Yesterday was the first day of my last semester at BYU.

It started off with work, which wasn't so different than summer was. Except I got there and my manager wanted me to do all this stuff and I had to train which I don't like doing. But it wasn't too busy and my cashiers are competent, so I didn't have to keep checking on them too much.

On Mondays and Wednesdays I have to leave work 15 minutes early to make it to class on time. My first class of the semester was CHums 230: Computers and Print Publishing. I was not looking forward to this class at all! I'm not very good with computers and design isn't exactly something that I'm uber interested in (though it will be helpful). But it's required for the editing minor so there I was. Another reason I wasn't too excited about was that I was certain that I'd be working with PCs, because my sister had taken a CHums class and she learned on a PC. Imagine my delight when I walked into the computer lab and it was a Mac lab!! Part of my negative feelings toward that class disappeared. More disappeared when I learned something new about Word that day. Something cool will hopefully come from this class.

After class got over I went home. I checked my e-mail and saw that the student journal I wanted to work on doesn't let you work on it unless you sign up for a separate class other than the editing student journals class, which means I have to find another journal to work on. Le Sigh. But my roommate came home and we talked about our days and that night was FHE! We went to Payson and ate pizza and watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs--tres funny.

Not too bad of a start to my last semester. One more class today and hopefully my first meeting with a student journal sometime this week.