Feb 9, 2007

Writing Technique: Style and -isms

For this week’s Writing Technique I’m going to attempt to take one sentence and show the different styles in which that sentence can be written.

Original Sentence:

She noticed that his eyes were blue.


She noticed that his eyes were blue. Greyer than the sky, but bluer than the ocean.


She realized the blueness of his eyes as she sank into them. She felt as if they would melt every bit of her body, and yet she couldn’t turn her gaze from them. They captivated her.


She noticed that his blue eyes were full of innocent wonder. It was almost as if the he saw the world as a newborn child, as if his eyes had never changed.


As she handed him the book, his blue eyes looked at the door. He took the book, then turned toward the open door like a dead man walking.


Her heart sped up and his blue eyes pierced through her every emotion. The waves crashed inside of her. The lights sparkled over every part of her turmoil, lighting up her blackest shadows.


His eyes were blue. In fact, bluer eyes she had never seen and it made her want to laugh and cry and yell all at the same time. It wasn’t so much the color of his eyes, but the way they looked at you. Maybe his eyes weren’t blue afterall.

That didn't work as well as I thought, but it was a lot of fun trying!

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