Feb 20, 2007

Free Write: Plea

I wrote this poem when things with my old boyfriend starting going wrong. Well, actually things hadn't been right from the beginning, I was just too twitterpated to notice. But it was the end of my senior year and I just noticed that nothing was how I wanted it. Little did I know that it was also near the end of our relationship. But I wrote this poem on my way to work on day (and had to keep repeating it to myself so I wouldn't forget it because I didn't have the opportunity to write it down) and it just says everything I felt about us. I had just read "Their Eyes Were Watching God" and so there is a little bit of an allusion to that novel. Again, blogger is stupid and won't let me put the poem in the structure I wrote it, but I guess you--and I--will just have to deal with that.

Can’t you see I’m pleading for physical attention?
for you step out of the rut you’ve dug us?

I don’t long for the way we were
but for the way we could be,
for our potential
I long for pear blossoms and butterflies,
for the things that come with spontaneity

We’re formally comfortable together;
we laugh,
we joke,
we have fun—
we keep everything inside

I want us to say what we want to say,
to do the things we want to do

I want to feel that I am attractive to you
that you aren’t ashamed to claim me

I want to tell you why I cry at night,
that you confuse me, that you frustrate me
Will you ease my fears?
I long to tell you three words,
just three
I want to tell you why I can’t

I want to know your thoughts
Do you know I’m here for the good
and the bad?

Make me feel important, sacrifice for me:
a little of your time,
your comfort,
your love

I gave you my heart without
what ifs or
if thens
Please give me yours

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