Conversations with Customers

The scene is the Creamery on Ninth, Saturday night, closing shift. The characters are me, a cashier, and a middle aged woman, blonde and wearing a shirt from a Mexican restaurant.

The woman sets her groceries on the register.

Her: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Do I have a boyfriend? No.

Her: Do you want one?

Me: (awkward laugh) uh . . .

Her: What are you studying?

Me: English.

Her: Good, good. How old are you?

Me: 22.

Her: How do you feel about dating men from India?

Me: (awkward laugh) uh . . . .

Her: Because I know this great guy. He has two law degrees and we just need to find him a wife.

Me: . . .

Her: He's actually here right now. (She turns and points to an Indian man in restaurant) That's him there. (She waves him over and turns back to me.) He's a great guy and so funny. I hang out with him all the time, but I'm too old for him.

The guy joins us.

Her: (to the guy) This cute girl is single and is studying English. And she lives right down the street from where you live!

Me: (in my head) Please don't be setting us up right now.

Her: See, I just went right up to her and asked what she was studying and how old she was. This is what you have to do, you just need to talk and flirt so they know you are interested. We need to get you a wife.

Me: (in my head) Oh, maybe she was just using me as an object lesson.

Indian Guy: (mumbles something)

Her: Thank you! It was good to meet you.

Me: You, too. (In my head) I think . . .

Indian Guy: Bye.

They leave and I proceed to chuckle to myself until I can tell someone else and laugh with them.