We had stake conference this last Sunday. The theme of the conference was on developing righteous habits, and most of the talks were very good--about reading the scriptures, being kind, etc. There was one talk that kind of rubbed me the wrong way though. A member of the stake presidency talked about dating.
First off, dating talks are a little hard to take when all you ever hear about at BYU is dating and getting married and if you are the last member of your freshman ward to get married, there is obviously something VERY wrong with you. I had a hard time with this talk because the counselor didn't even give attention to the fact that dating might be difficult for some people, or that it's just not the right time for someone to date. Or that some people will be single for many years of their lives. It was all "date now, get married now, and if you don't, you'll be cast to the lowest part of the celestial kingdom no matter what you do." And I have a problem with that.
When discussing this talk with someone in my ward, he said something to the effect of "well, you don't have to worry about it. You'll get married." As if that's why I had the problem. (Which, sometimes it does feel like I'll never get married, or get married when I'm older, but I don't say this to get reinforcement, I say it because it could very possibly be true. No one ever knows when or if they are going to get married unless they are already engaged and even then it's not a certainty until you say "yes" across the altar. But I digress.) He also said that he felt that the talk was more directed toward the priesthood holders than the women.
I guess that after having listened to President Uchtdorf's CES fireside I just can't see why someone would talk about dating without also acknowledging single members and what they can do with their lives. While everyone should listen to the fireside because it was amazing (let's face it, every talk Pres. Uchtdorf gives is amazing) here is just a little bit that I really enjoyed:
In the meantime, do not wait for someone else to make your life complete. Stop second guessing yourself and wondering if you are defective. Instead, seek to reach out to your potential as a child of God. Seek learning, become engaged in a meaningful career and seek fulfillment in service to others. Use your time, your talents, your resources, to improve yourself and bless those around you. All of this is part of your preparation for having a family…The great purpose of this mortal existence is to learn to fully love our Heavenly Father and our neighbor as ourselves. If we do this with all our might, mind, and strength our eternal destiny will be glorious and grand beyond our capacity to imagine. Be faithful, and things will work out for you. That is His eternal promise to all who love and honor him.”
I love that he gives us advice on how to live our lives as a single person. It shouldn't just be us trying to get married, but we should be using our talents and finding a career and doing things. Learning and growing and becoming better people and trusting in God.
In my opinion, every talk on dating should include a section on what to do when you are single--without mentioning that we should be looking for someone to date and get married to.
