Valentine

Well, it's that day again. Valentine's Day. The day to celebrate love.

I've come a long way since the first time I ever blogged about the day five years ago. I have tried to celebrate all the love I have in my life. The love of God and His Son. The love of my family and friends. And now that I no longer have to be around love sick college students on this day, I feel that I can turn my attention more fully to the people in my life who love me for me.

But, in my silly, stupid, hopeless romantic heart, I still wish. I think, maybe, just today, something great could happen to me. Maybe, just for one day, I can be that girl walking around with the flowers, and the giant teddy bear. I can be the kind of girl that gets surprised at work, and gets serenaded to. In the sensible part of my brain, I know that those things would all be extremely awkward in real life, but that little secret desire is still there.

I think my parents understood me--their romantic little girl, on the most romantic of days, having to come to terms with a life unromantic. Starting in high school, my dad always bought me something on Valentine's Day. My junior year I got a carton of ice cream. My senior year, a set of fairytales. A couple of years ago I got balloons in my favorite color. Last year I got roses. This year I got a card and candy. I love my parents, and I love that they seem to understand me so completely.

But the fact of the matter is, other than these gifts from my parents, the only thing I've ever gotten on Valentine's Day was an e-card and a sucker. I mean, really? Even the most unromantic person could surely come up with something better than that (especially considering that roses were being sold at school the entire week leading up to the day. Kind of a brainless choice right there.).

I don't mean to complain. I have so many people in my life who love me. I have a wonderful family, and a great group of friends. Valentine's Day is only once a year. I get to be loved every day of the year. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I don't have people who care about me. I will always be a romantic--it's part of my personality, and I love it! I love getting all teary eyed and feeling giddy during movies, or books. I love hearing stories about people who have been married for 70 years and how they still love each other. I may not have the life I imagined at 12, or 16, or even 20, but it's been a pretty good life so far. And I hope that when I do get romance in my life, it will be forever, and not just for a day.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Remember the people who love you and show your love for them in return.

Why is this Considered Romance?

I've never understood why people think that Jane Eyre is a romantic story.

A man who mocks you, who ignores you when his friends are around and then demands to know why you didn't talk to him is not romantic. A man who owes you money is not romantic. A man who makes you think he is marrying another woman just to see if you'll get jealous is not romantic. A man who tricks you into a sham of a marriage when he is already married and is hiding his insane wife in the attic, and then when you find out about the insane wife, tries to convince you to live with him in sin though it goes against everything you believe is not romantic.

A man who sleeps around and doesn't like children, not even the child who may or may not be his is not romantic. A man who lies to and takes advantage of other people is not romantic. A man who takes advantages of a young girl's vulnerabilities is not romantic. A man who is vain enough to think that he can do all these things and still get you to love him is not romantic.

Romance this is not.

Love Day

First, I have to say that not being at BYU for Valentine's Day is AWESOME!! No icky couples kissing all the time, no seeing everyone else get flowers, no sitting at home alone eating ice cream and watching a chick-flik . . . Pretty much a good V-day on my end.

Last year I posted about how Christ is my Valentine, and with Him I have no need of anyone else. Well, you want to hear something really cool? I have a friend on a mission in Austria right now and she sent me a letter last week. She says that there they call Valentine's Day the Day of the Pure Love of Christ.

Kind of makes you think a little differently about it, huh? I never have loved Valentine's Day, but I've realized that it is more than romantic love, it is love for all people, all things, all creation. It's the love that Christ has given us by everything that He has ever done for us. He and the Father created this beautiful world, Christ lived and died, all for us. For everyone, no matter who you are or what you believe or what you've done. That's love for you.

So, here's wishing everyone a Happy Day of the Pure Love of Christ!

A Week of Giving Thanks, pt. 1: Family

Since it is Thanksgiving, and I've been having a bit of a hard time lately, I decided to post everyday this week about something I'm thankful for.

This most important thing in my life that I have to be thankful for is my family. I feel like I post a lot about how much I love them and how amazing they are, but it's just because it is all true. Without the family I have, I wouldn't be the person I am right now.

My parents. Both my parents instilled in me at a young age several basic parts of my being that have made my life beautiful and successful. The first of these is my religion and love of God. If I didn't have the Gospel in my life, I think that I would probably never leave my bed. Knowing that there is so much more out there than just a life that you live until you die is so comforting to me. Knowing that there is a Father in Heaven that wants me to be successful and who loves me keeps me going.

The second basic part is love of education. I am graduating from college next month, and I know that I couldn't have gotten there without my parents. Not only did they let me know how important getting a degree was, but they showed me by their example. Both of my parents have their Master's degrees. And it isn't just education, but learning continually throughout life. How many random things have I learned about on my own just because I wanted to? It's almost impossible to say, but I know it is because I was taught that I can keep learning and that it doesn't have to be restricted to the classroom.

They also taught us all about the importance of family. I count my parents among my best friends, which is really good when I just need someone to talk to about something going on in my life.

My sister. Every girl should have a sister. I was lucky and got a big sister. What is so great is that I can talk to her about things that I am going through that she has had to go through too. Our lives aren't parallels of the others, but there are similar circumstances that we have both had to deal with and it is nice to talk to someone who has already been there. There are just somethings that you don't want to talk to your parents about no matter how good of friends you might be with them. That is where a sister comes in handy.

My brother. Just as every girl should have a sister, every girl should have a brother. He is a protector, and a friend. He is a rock that I can lean against when things get hard in life. A sturdy figure in life. He has problems too and I think it is great that he wants to talk to his dorky little sister about it all. He is an example to me, and I know that he is an example to his companions, the members, and the people he is teaching in the Dominican Republic.

My bro-in-law. I remember a time from my freshman year. I had just gotten my UTA bus pass, but I didn't know how to ride the bus. Frankly, riding public transportation scared me. My bro-in-law was so nice and rode the bus with me. He told me what I needed to know and helped me feel confident about using the UTA system. That's just the kind of guy my bro-in law is.

I love them all, and am so grateful to have them in my life. Thanks for loving me unconditionally and being there for me for now and forever.

Free Write: What is Love?

What is love? My friend asked me what I thought it was, and while I've actually thought about this a lot, it's hard to explain. To me love isn't just something that you "fall" into. It's not that easy, because falling in love with someone means that you can fall out of love—like you accidentally stepped into a puddle of mud, then stepped out of it, removed the mud from your shoes and continued on your way. Love isn't just an emotion, it's a way of thought, it becomes part of who you are. Love means that no matter what happens, you still care about that person. It's like energy--never created, never destroyed, just changed. Love means not being selfish--but that doesn't mean that you don't judge whether the love you have is right or wrong for you. Love is beautiful and careful--it's slow. Lust is what gets you in trouble, never love. Love is so completely pure that you want to change just to feel worthy of it. Love is when you want to make that other person smile, and you spend hours thinking about how to do it. Love endures everything, even though it's the hardest trial you've ever been through--unlike the song it isn't "all you need," but just knowing that you are loved and that you love someone in return gives you a little more strength. Love is trust, and it hurts when the trust is broken, and yet for some reason you still love that person. Love is always having to say that you're sorry. Love is being able to see not only what a person is but what they could be. It's knowing all of their faults and being able to look past them. Love leaves room for improvements; that's the glory of it being able to change. Love is comfort. Love is so many things that I don't think I'd be able to put in words everything that it is. God made it perfect, but it has been perverted by our world. Love is love, that’s the easiest way to say it. It’s just love, and it’s different for everyone. Love is wonderful, and confusing, and exciting, and everything you could ever feel. God created love so we could have a little glimpse of Heaven.