30 Before 30: Create a "Work of Art" by Throwing Balloons Full of Paint at a Canvas

Today Sis, Bro-in-lay, Kid K, and Baby B came over to have some fun! However, this fun didn't exactly work the way I thought it would.

First, filling up the balloons with paint was an adventure which ended with us having to get three bottles of Smart Water to make it easier. And even then Sis and I both ended up with paint all over us.

I had put thumbtacks in the canvas to help break the balloons; however, I may have needed more because the balloons did not break easily. Poor Kid K couldn't throw them hard enough to break. I think she still had fun though--even if her hands did get dirty.

So it was fun and I have something cool now, but if I were going to do it again, I'd do things a little differently.

Dear Baby E, This Christmas

Dear Baby E,

You aren't so much a baby anymore--you are almost 18 months! After you and your parents moved to Utah, I've seen you grow and change so much!

Here are a few highlights from our Christmas together:

You were sick the whole time, but there were still moments of sweetness.

You LOVE helping to clean. You actually just love helping. First, you help make dinner. After dinner you want to help wash the dishes. You like to vacuum and sweep. Basically, if someone is doing something, you want to do it too. And you are so quick at learning! I'm not biased or anything, but I'm pretty sure that you're one of the smartest kids around.

Speaking of which, we worked on your animal sounds. You know cow (mmmm) and sheep (aaaa). We also taught you what sharks say (doo do. doo do. doo do doododododododo) and sea turtles (duuude). We're still working on the sea turtles.

Then I taught you how to "touch" like Gr. Grandpa does, and how to fist pump and explode it. It's basically the cutest thing ever.

Except for one. We were playing one time, just you and me. And you picked up your little Hello Kitty bag and walked toward the hall. You stopped part way there and turned and waved. I waved back. Then you came back toward me and gave me a kiss (the first time you had ever given me a kiss!). Then you walked back toward the hall, turned and waved at me again. After I waved, you came back and gave me another kiss before walking all the down the hall to see what Mommy and Grandma were up to. It was probably the highlight of my weekend.

Even when you are grumpy and won't eat or sleep or wake me up before 6 am, I still love you, girl.

Your Auntie

Update: Timing

Timing sucks.

The past couple of years I have felt like I've been on a different clock than everyone else. Like, I'm off Daylight Savings while everyone else is on so I'm always running an hour behind. And then I'm on it when everyone is off, so I'm always an hour ahead (or would it be the other way around?). This isn't always a bad thing, not at all, but it's more strongly felt when it is.

You know all the stuff I've been through the past year--well, up until I just seemed to drop off the face of the planet and never wrote an update. You know about the bad timing that came with applying to grad school, and the bad timing with my previous job. You also know about my good timing when it came to finding a job after only a month of being unemployed--I had been expecting being unemployed for at least three months.

The four months that I've been working have been good timing. I came in at the right time, just when things started to build in the company, and just in time to prove my worth in order to start getting more responsibility and maybe move up.

I moved last month and that was good timing. It's a little cheaper, and in a house, which is nice.

I had bad timing a couple of weeks ago when I rushed out of the house to get to work and ended up getting in a car accident that totaled Perry. It wasn't my fault, and there were no injuries, but one of my first thoughts was that if I hadn't rushed so much, if I had left the house even a few seconds later, I would have gotten to work fine. And I wouldn't have had to deal with all the stress of talking to insurance and getting a new car (and getting things fixed on the new car). I wouldn't have dealt with the physical manifestations of that stress like sore muscles and a clenched jaw. I think for the moment I'm done though--once I get it registered. It started off pretty rocky, but I think Alfie's and mine relationship will get stronger as we go on.

I've had good timing when it comes to Baby E. Sis, Bro-in-law, and Baby E just moved back here, and I've been able to see Baby E's curiosity and her growth. She's a little mimic, and catches on to things so quickly that it seems like she's changing all the time. I'm glad that I get to spend this time with her.

And then there's bad timing when I finally get to the point when I can put myself out there and want to reconnect with someone and try to give it another go, but I missed the opportunity. Or maybe the timing was always off for us. It's hard when someone being happy means losing a friend and a hope.

I know that the way I plan things, or the timing I want to have, doesn't really matter in this huge plan that God has for me. But it's hard to put trust in Him and not just think that I'm the one that's messing everything up. Because I truly believe that if I keep on trying to do all the things I'm supposed to, and if I keep following the good thoughts that come into my head (even if they seem to turn out badly . . .) then God won't forsake me. He would never leave me on my own. His strength is the strength that I need most in my life, especially when I feel my strength leaving me.

There is nothing wrong with my timing being off. It just means that my life is part of this clock of humankind, the clock that really keeps the whole world turning and going.

2013 Year in Review and a Look into 2014

Here we are, at the end of another year! Here are a few highlights from 2013!

I started a new feature on my blog, called Book of the Month. On the first of every month, I recommend a book that I had read the previous month. It's a little hit or miss, but that's the way reading goes sometimes, isn't it?

A friend and I started a "letter game" for writing. We have now started our second story.

I turned 25!

In June I went to Prince Edward Island, fulfilling one of my New Year's resolutions, and a dream of mine!

Sis and bro-in-law made me an aunt with the arrival of Baby E in July. Bro and I then went and visited them in August.

In October I decided to apply to graduate school. Well, it didn't start out that way. I first just decided to take the GRE, to have that avenue open for me, and then quickly decided to apply to grad school while I was looking around at programs. This meant that the last couple months of the year were spent studying for the GRE and filling out my application. My application is in (except for one letter of recommendation) and I am going to try to forget about it until I hear word.

In addition, this year I've learned a lot about being strong and healthy, as well as the people in my life who love and support me no matter what.

As for my other New Year's Resolutions. I did write often, until about July when I started having to look for new jobs, and then I started studying for the GRE. I'm getting back into it though, and will hopefully have more time to write as 2014 begins. As for the "exercising with some frequency"--I did okay for about the first three months, then I stopped. Then in September I started up again, and I exercise about 20 minutes a day three or so times a week using a work-out app called Sworkit. Not ideal, I know, but it's better than nothing.

Now, to try to see the future and look forward to 2014 . . .

I now have until June to find a new job. Starting in January, I'll go down to working three days a week, so I'll spend the other two days a week "working from home". I'm planning on writing in the morning, and doing some job searches in the afternoon. I did apply for two jobs this month, but have yet to hear back from them.

There is also my grad school acceptance/rejection to get--sometime around March I think. If I get into grad school, then I will not be taking a vacation this year because money. If I don't, I still may not be taking a vacation this year. It all depends on whether or not I get a job. If I am able to go on a vacation, I have no idea where I want to go. I have kicked around the idea of New York and seeing Broadway plays, but I don't think I'd want to go by myself. It can't be anywhere too expensive, since I don't have as much vacation money this year as I did last year. Suggestions? Probably somewhere in the US.

Well, there we are! The year didn't turn out how I thought it would, but then, nothing ever does. I look forward to whatever new adventures 2014 brings!

Dear Baby E: I miss you!

Hey sweetheart! I just got back from a long weekend of getting to hold you, and let me tell you, I miss your warm little body in my arms.

Your Uncle, Bro, and I drove down to see you--and let me tell you, it's a long drive, and especially boring. But we had music, podcasts, and movies to keep us occupied; and, of course, food! Here's something you should know about road trip food: every Hinckley road trip includes two things, red licorice and Lorna Doone cookies. The licorice probably didn't get started this way, but part of the reason we always needed it was because I get carsick and when I was a kid the only way I could take chewable dramamine was if I ate it with licorice. I don't have a story about Lorna Doones, just that we always have them.

I'm not a good traveler, baby, so by the time we got to your mommy and daddy's I was pretty tired and strung out. But then I got to hold you and finally kiss your chubby cheeks. I rested you on my chest and I instantly felt more relaxed. You are a miracle, little girl.

Uncle Bro seemed a little stiff and uncomfortable holding you at first (you are pretty small), but by the end of the weekend, he had warmed up to you, and even found something that calmed you down.

You are kind of wiggly, except when you go into a deep sleep, and then you just go kind of limp. I think we kind of spoiled you, because by the end of the weekend, you did not like being put down, which was okay by me! But it wasn't good when we went for a ride--you didn't seem to like being in your car seat, though once you were fed and changed, as long as the car was moving you were okay. We stopped at one point to take pictures of a bridge, and I got in the car with you to let your mom have a look. I sang my special lullaby to you and gently shook your car seat (trying to imitate the movement of the car) and it calmed you down for a little bit. That made me feel good.

I introduced you to Jane Austen, too! I read the first 5 chapters of Pride and Prejudice, and the first time I read it, you stopped crying and listened to an entire page before starting again. That first line is pretty intriguing, isn't it?

I love you, baby girl. Can't wait to see you again in a month or so. You'll have changed so much!

Dear Baby E: Happy Birth Day

You've leveled up from fetus to baby! Congratulations!

You do need a little talking to though. ::stern look:: You caused your mommy and daddy some undue alarm, get all tangled up like that and having to be brought in to this world by c-section. Fortunately, you are safe and healthy and that's all we can ask!

You were born on 21 July 2013, at 10:49 pm. You weighed 7 lbs and were 21 inches long. According to your mommy, you are adorable, and I believe her though I have yet to see you. You've made a lot of people very happy, little one.

I can't wait to come and see you. I plan on spoiling you as much as I am financially able to. Love you!

Dear Baby E: You Are Uncooperative

It took three days of my following your mommy around trying to feel you kick until you finally gave in and did it. (I literally followed your mommy around--hands on stomach at all times.) I seriously thought that I would go the whole weekend without ever feeling you kick, no matter how I cajoled or talked to you. Then I tried the whole ambushing thing by jumping on mommy's stomach, hands outstretched, thinking that maybe if I caught you off guard, you'd be too surprised to hold back your kicks. I just wanted to see how strong you are, and you refused! Stubborn little girl. May I remind you that I am your favorite aunt? I really wanted to feel you kick because I'd never felt a baby kick before and this would be my last chance until your mommy has another baby, which, at the rate they're going, could be another EIGHT years!

Anyway, Sunday afternoon you apparently started feeling bad for me and you gave me a couple of really good kicks. So, thank you. And then Monday night, right when I put my hand on mommy's stomach, you kicked! That was nice of you. :)

You seem to have grown in the five days your mommy has been in town. You just keep on keeping on, little one. We want you big and strong when you finally come out and meet us. I won't see you again until you are born, so be good to your mommy! I can't wait to see you as a real person, not just some strange idea of a person feeding off of my sister.

Updates, Updates Everywhere

First, a sad update. I applied for a full-time position at work, but wasn't considered for an interview. At first I was pretty upset about this, and had a little bit of reflection on where I want to be and how to get there, and even wondered if editing was the right path for me. But once I had some time to think, and I met some of the candidates for the position, I realized that I really didn't have the education and experience to help me compete against other candidates. And I also realized that I needed more diversity in my work, including opportunities to use my editing skills. So I asked for it, and my supervisors/managers have been very good at finding a few projects here and there to give me that diversity and practice. So, good and bad there.

In good news, I'm fulfilling one of my New Year's Resolutions! Yes, I am going to Canada!! Prince Edward Island, to be exact. My plane tickets are all paid for, I've got my hotel reservations made, my car rental is set up, and I'm planning an itinerary and packing list. I don't go until mid-June, but it's exciting (and scary) to think about. I'm going by myself--a fitting tribute to Anne, I think. So, funny story, as I was writing down a rough itinerary, I realized I have FOUR days on Prince Edward Island, instead of the three that I thought I had. I was so surprised and wondered what I was going to do with that extra day! Guess it just means that I get to spend another day exploring the island! I've planned an entire day for my Anne pilgrimage--going to Cavendish and seeing the house LM Montgomery lived in while she wrote Anne, seeing Green Gables house, Lover's Lane, and hopefully seeing the Anne of Green Gables musical. The other days I just want to wander around the island and take in the beauty of it.

Let's see, what other updates can I give? My niece is still in the "unborn" stage, but I can tell I'm going to spoil her rotten. I've decided that being the only unmarried aunt by default makes me the favorite aunt. While her other aunts have their own families/children, I can devote all my love and attention on little Baby E alone. She and I are going to be buddies, I just know. I'm going to read to her from all my favorite books from the time she is born on, and I'm going to teach her how to be a geek. I get to feel her move next week when sis and bro-in-law come to visit and I'm so excited!!

So, there is a more general update on my life. I'll be writing a bit more on narrow topics, but just wanted to share a little of what has been happening in my life!

Dear Baby E: You're a GIRL!

So, guess what baby? We found out today that you are a GIRL! I know, this is old news to you, but very exciting news to us. This means that I can now start buying all sorts of things that will ensure my place as favorite aunt.

I do have to admit, I was pretty adamant that you were going to be a boy. I just had a feeling, ever since your mommy and daddy got married, that their first child would be male. But finding out I was wrong does not make me disappointed at all! I called your grandma and grandpa (my mom and dad) today to talk to them about something not really related to you and therefore not important, and I said, "So, did sis call you?" Grandma kept saying no, and I felt really bad because I thought maybe I had let the cat out of the bag and your mommy was planning a big reveal. And then I hear Grandpa in the background say, "Oh, sis called today!" Five hours before! Grandpa had forgotten to tell grandma she was getting a granddaughter! Silly guy.

I guess I should give you a little advice about being a girl. There are a lot of people out there with a lot of differing opinions of how a girl should be, how she should act, and where her place is in society. Don't pay any attention to any of them. You find out who you are and you stick with it. Don't change for anyone, except yourself. You can be and do anything you want, and your family will support you in your endeavors.

I'm very excited to meet you baby girl! You are halfway ready (which is probably more than your mom can say)! In just over four months, we get to see you and hold you!

Dear Baby E

Hi, Baby. Your Aunt Whitney here (your favorite aunt). Just wanted to drop you a little note and tell you how excited I am to meet you. I've been waiting 8 years for you to come into our family.

Your mommy (my sister) and daddy told us about you on Christmas Day. It was definitely the best Christmas present I got--even more than my 26-disc Doctor Who: The David Tennant Years set! (Believe me, in a few years, you'll understand what a big deal that is. Because I will show you.) Since that day I've been looking forward to your coming, even though it's still so far away. I'm sad that your mommy and daddy live so far away from us, so that I can't see you grow inside your mommy's tummy, and feel you kick.

Maybe you can do something for me. Do everything you can to convince your parents to move back to Utah. This doesn't just benefit me, but your grandparents and other aunts and uncles too! Mostly I'm scared you won't know who I am when we do get to see you. I want you to be excited when you see me! Not scared or nervous. So, yeah, try and convince your parents to move back, okay?

I wanted to give you a little advice about this new life you are going to be starting. I know right now you're all safe and snug in mommy's tummy, but in just a few months you'll be out in this big world we have. Life is scary, little one, I won't sugarcoat it. It's hard and it just seems to be getting harder. But it's always beautiful and wonderful. So, try to always see the beauty and the good in the world. Sometimes it will be hard to find, but life surprises you. Don't be stupid and make life harder than it is, okay?

There is so much to see, and learn, and experience. What will the world be like when you are in your twenties? There is so much I can't wait to show to you! Books, art, nature (I bet your uncle would love to show you some really big trees, cuz he's into that), architecture, films, TV shows, snow and rain and sunshine, and just everything there is.

Baby, there are going to be times in your life when you are going to want to talk to someone, but don't want to talk to your mom for whatever reason. That's why I'm here. I'll try not to pass judgement, and to listen instead of lecture. That's what aunts are for. We're the cool people. But, share things with your mom too. She's waited so long for you. And moms are great resources. I know because your grandma is an amazing mom. So, you see, your mommy learned from the best.

You aren't much longer than my thumb right now, but you've already had a big impact on me, and I'm sure, on everyone in our family. Who would have thought such a little thing could make me feel such big feelings?

Keep up the good work at growing! And don't try to arrive too soon, we can wait.

Love you.